Journey to Parent from Inner Peace
As part of my experience as a peacemaker, participating in the Ekam (Oneness) World Peace Festival, we gathered with people around the world and set a collective intention to send blessings for children around the world to heal from emotionally painful and disturbing situations they have had in their childhood and to bless and heal those children who are victims of abuse and violence, wars and terrorism, victims of environmental calamities, deprived of a safe home and food.
Some of the teachings that were shared fuel my desire to keep serving parents and teachers as we are the key influencers of the experiences that shape their reality and how they show up in the world. I am also deeply humbled by the privilege that I have in serving children at schools and connecting with them so they can be seen, felt and heard.
We know that children thrive when loved and accepted. I strongly believe that it is incumbent on the parent to evolve, grow and live in a conscious and mindful state where they can be lovingly present, to really feel their child and bring attention to their child. It is about creating a family, a safe place where we can each be "felt."
In this fast paced world, as a mom of 3 boys I recognize the daily challenge that shows up in every moment of getting things done, while truly allowing my kids to be felt, seen, heard and held. I know that I am constantly learning to walk this fine line and what I have learned is that being a parent is one of the hardest jobs we have. Being the guardians and keepers of the future care takers of our planets is a job that is most fulfilling but also very challenging. If, I as a parent continue to live in a constant state of inner conflict, suffering and chaos then I don't have capacity to be "present" to my child.
I know and see it in the eyes of other parents the yearning they have for their children to live fulfilled lives and I also see the questions in their eyes as they grapple with how they can fulfill all their daily obligations and "be present" to their children. I hear you and I feel how torn you feel when you have come home exhausted and your child really wants you to play and "be" with them. I too have felt it many times, what's different now is the years of me taking small tiny steps of building my own awareness of myself, of my own emotional and mental states, that I can now intentionally choose and decide whether I have capacity to "be" present to them or whether I will look them in their eyes tell them how loved they are and share with them how I feel and why I need to take some rest time before I am ready to "be" with them.
For all of you who are reading this and have not yet started a family, I want you to pause and reflect on the words below.
Over the years, I have learned that being a parent is not about us controlling our children or us living our dreams vicariously through them, or us imposing our fears upon them and limiting them. Rather it is about us doing our own inner work, healing our own wounded child, recognizing and healing our triggers, so that we can end the ancestral patterns that we each carry of not feeling enough/worthy, of not feeling loved and cared. I have learned that I am responsible to understand what state I am in and if I am experiencing, anxiety, stress, frustration, anger most of the time than I need to seek support and gather tools that empower and allow me to shift my inner state to that of ease. As I now understand and have witnessed in my own children, that we epigenetically transfer our inner state to our children.
For those of you who are like me and already deep in the journey of parenting, what I do know is that is is never too late to start. It's never too late to take the small step of building your own awareness. The paths to building self awareness can be varied. For me it is through yoga, meditation, connection with nature, connection with other like minded people, books, conferences, self development workshops, mindfulness programs and most recently HeartMath programs. The common thread through all of them was me committing to creating new habits, adopting new practices and thereby creating a new mindset with the knowing that our brains can be changed as we create new practices and these new habits become our new reality.
"Currently 26 % of the world population is under 15 years of age, more than 2 billion children. And nearly a billion children have gone through physical, emotional, sexual abuse and neglect, which means we have wounded the present and hurt the future. Emotionally bruised people will be leading the future of the world." (Preethaji, Ekam Peace festival)
"It is time we each awaken to our role and acknowledge that as we nurture our children's strong minds and kind hearts we create a beautiful future for our planet." (Preethaji, Ekam Peace festival)
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